Spermageddon, and what we can do about it

At Swanalong, we aim to motivate people to become the best possible version of themselves. For this reason, we are curious about how lifestyle and the environment affect all aspects of human life and well-being.

A recent article in the New Scientist magazine for January 2022 piqued interest in sperm production. Although this topic might make spermatophobics squirm, it is crucial to note the alarming decline in sperm count, affectionately dubbed “Spermageddon, ” and to understand what might be causing it and what we can do about it.  Please note that I take no credit for the term spermageddon, which seems to have evolved in the literature about declining sperm counts.

While this might seem like a topic for blokes who are in their seed-sowing years, sperm count is everyone’s business. I am not saying we need to have sperm count competitions or plot sperm count graphs, but we need to do our bit to ensure a better planet for the healthy survival of the species. If the declining sperm count continues at the current rate, estimates are that by 2040, men will have no sperm left. This prediction about sperm extinction is according to Shanna Swan, a  reproductive epidemiologist who conducted an extensive meta-analysis across several decades. For those looking to save on birth control, this might seem like a God-sent.  Sperm banks should be stocking up and getting listed on the stock exchange because if this decline continues, sperm will become an expensive item.

In 1974, and while everyone was buzzing about “test-tube babies,” two doctors in Iowa stumble upon a startling discovery – men’s sperm counts were plummeting faster than my motivation to fill out tax forms. Fast forward to the 90s, and what was once a topic most of us did not discuss at the dinner table is now a global concern. We’re talking a drop from 107 million fallopian swimmers per millilitre to a measly 48 million. If sperm were currency, we’d be hitting a recession.

Declining sperm counts is not just a ‘guy thing.’ It’s a human thing. This downward spiral tells a tale not just about fertility woes but about our overall health, linking closely to our lifestyle, diet, and the nasty stuff we’re exposed to daily. Plus, for the ladies out there, remember, today’s boys are tomorrow’s men. Ensuring they grow up healthy affects the big picture of human continuity. So, yes, it’s a bit of a big deal.  

You are not going to be surprised as to the culprits behind our disappearing sperm. They are the same usual suspects in any health-related lineup: 

Endocrine-disrupting chemicals, those nasties hiding in plastics and pesticides, seem to be doing a number on sperm.  

Excessive boozing, smoking, and living the couch potato movie-watching dream contribute to the crisis.

Various health conditions and genetics are also to blame for the situation.

And let’s not forget, as men age, their sperm quality tends to dip – it’s not just metabolism that slows down. Caution, though, old guys: you can remain fertile well into your later years, so don’t proceed with gay abandon on the assumption you have no sperm left.

What Can Be Done?

So, what is the game plan to combat Spermageddon? There will be no surprises here, and I will try not to mention mindfulness, the cure-all for Western ailments. 

Swap the chips for greens and hit the pavement. Your sperm (and your heart) will thank you.

Meditation, yoga, or simply laughing at blogs like this can help.

Less booze, no smokes, and steering clear of recreational drugs can boost those numbers.

Opt for products that don’t mess with your hormones. Yes, it might mean saying goodbye to your favourite cologne.

Regular check-ups aren’t just for keeping your GP company. They can catch issues affecting your sperm count early on.

Ladies, this is your fight, too. A man’s sperm count is a window into his overall health, and let’s face it, ensuring the men in our lives are healthy, happy, and fertile affects us all. Plus, for those thinking of having little ones, this is prime intel for planning your family’s future.

This Spermageddon isn’t just another scare tactic; it’s a real issue with implications for humanity. By taking steps now – both men and women – to live healthier, more mindful lives, we can help reverse this concerning trend. Because taking care of your sperm is taking care of the future – and who doesn’t want to be known as a hero for humanity (and hilarity)?

So, get moving and eat better to avoid the extinction of humans.