How to feel human in a dehumanising world

I know I am human, but does a cat know it is a cat? How did I come to realise I am human? What would happen if I no longer felt human? If I no longer feel human, am I mad? Is it possible that what makes me human will ultimately destroy humanity? 

Have you felt less human lately, as if you are disconnected or detached from yourself and what is happening around you? It may feel like a stranger is living inside your body, making you feel less connected with others, even in social settings, leaving you unable to relate to those around you. In more severe cases of feeling dehumanised, you may experience a disconnect from your physical body, leading to sensations of being detached or dissociated from your own experiences. Feeling less human can manifest as an observer rather than an active participant in your life.  

Modern society has brought numerous benefits and conveniences. However, it has also diminished some individuals’ sense of what it means to be human. Netflix, Pornhub, Uber Eats, Tinder, Amazon, Facebook, a home gym, a TV remote, the refrigerator, and two-minute noodles are all wonderful conveniences. They, however, come with some downsides, resulting in increasing levels of obesity, increased feelings of loneliness, declines in sexual activity, poor sleep quality, increased levels of substance abuse and poorer mental health. Fat, depressed, sexless, tired and lonely is not a recipe for wellness. Add to this the numerous chemicals humans ingest, and we have almost created a new species. Described above are symptoms associated with living in modern society. Several interconnected factors explain why modern living might mess with our sense of feeling human. Here, I briefly describe a few of them. 

It is stressful living in Western societies. The lifestyle is fast, and success is often equated with productivity and constant achievement. To the question, How are you today? Flat out is the typical response? The pressure to excel in one’s career, maintain a high standard of living, and juggle multiple responsibilities can create a sense of perpetual stress. Add to this the emphasis on individualism and self-reliance that can contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Then, there are those expectations regarding body image, material possessions, and social status that can fuel feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. In pursuit of material success, individuals may neglect their emotional and spiritual needs, further exacerbating feelings of emptiness or detachment.

You have more chances to start a conversation while on a two-week holiday in a developing country with a small population than living in a large modern city for the entire year. Social media can exacerbate feelings of isolation due to reliance on virtual interactions, a superficial human connection that leaves people craving deeper, more meaningful connections. Dating sites have their place, but they become sorting and filtering space for a potential mate in artificial and superficial ways. 

Western society is highly individualistic. From the time we are born and through our schooling, we learn to fend for ourselves and be independent. This individualistic approach is counterproductive to what it means to be human. We are innately social creatures. Take a chimpanzee out of its troop and try and make it fend for itself by working eight hours a day in a building, coming home to watch TV, and then falling asleep and doing it all again; it will start feeling disconnected from the essence of it being.  

Inequality, the unequal distribution of wealth and opportunities, has resulted in social disparities and marginalised many people. Marginalising a person erodes the essence of being human, i.e., Being social, empathetic, and cooperative. This inequality can result in people feeling shame, consequently avoiding social situations. It is hard for someone who falls on hard times if they do not have the love and support of family and friends.  

You know the situation where everyone goes to an expensive restaurant for dinner. When the bill comes, instead of paying for what you ate, a decision is made to split the bill by the number of people at the table. You ordered the cheapest thing on the menu and compensated for everyone else’s expensive meal. I refer to this as the insensitive wanker’s bill-splitting strategy (IWBSS). The situation described is just one example of how inequity can contribute to isolation, making people feel less human because they withdraw connection from their social group. 

Urbanisation, pollution, and lack of green spaces disconnect us from what we need to feel human. Access to nature and a clean environment is crucial for overall well-being.

Have you ever not wanted to go to an event, complaining that it is fake and superficial? You are not alone. Certain types of social events, where someone’s value is judged by how much money they have or what they own, rather than who they are. This mindset of judging people can be dehumanising. You know how the introductions go at these types of events. Michael, this is John Handcock. John is the CEO of Wankers Incorporated. He can get you a good deal on that Maserati you were considering buying for your Venetian wife.   

Consumerism and materialism contribute to people feeling less human in several ways. The focus on possessions over relationships erodes the essence of being human, leading to isolation and disconnection from the human experience. That often encourages comparing oneself to others based on what they own or how they look, which can fuel feelings of inadequacy or inferiority, undermining self-worth and diminishing one’s sense of humanity. Superficiality that involves the pursuit of material possessions can lead to an empty existence where appearances or external markers of success are prioritised over deeper aspects of human experience, such as personal growth, empathy, and compassion. Finally, materialism can result in an identity crisis, where individuals define themselves primarily by what they own or consume rather than by their inherent qualities, values, or aspirations.

There is not much you can do right now to change the nature of our world, but you can do some things to help yourself feel a little more connected to what it is to be human. Ultimately, when you are aware of the things in your life that are taking you away from feeling human, you know what you must adjust. It is up to you to develop the best approach to feel more connected to being a human. 

Here are some practical suggestions you can consider weekly to help you feel more human.  

Take time each day to appreciate the people, experiences, and things you have in your life. Slow down, and if you feel you are rushing, chill out and slow down to be conscious of what you are doing. Focus on what you have rather than what you do not have.  

Spend time with a friend, extended family member or colleagues in a social setting, even if it’s just for a quick chat or a coffee.

Similar to gratitude, perform acts of kindness towards others, whether it’s lending a listening ear, offering assistance, or simply smiling at someone. 

Have deep conversations with others about topics that matter to you and them. Listen actively and empathetically and express feelings and ideas. To do this, you need to connect with others, preferably in person. 

Take walks outdoors, immerse yourself in natural surroundings, and appreciate the world’s beauty.

Pursue activities that bring you joy and fulfilment, such as painting, playing music, gardening, or any other hobby you enjoy. Build this into your weekly routine. 

Occasionally, reflect on your values and priorities and how much your choices align with them.

Being human involves taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being through exercise, adequate rest, and seeking support when needed. Once again, fit this into your weekly routine and don’t overdo it.  

Allow yourself to express your creativity in different ways, whether through art, writing, cooking, or any other outlet that speaks to you. 

Mindless consumerism can result from seeking gratification through purchasing products or services that make us feel good. The truth is that consumerism often contributes to a shallow and empty feeling. On the other hand, mindful consumerism describes the practice of making more thoughtful and conscious choices about what, how, and why we consume. Mindful consumerism can improve our well-being, happiness, and satisfaction and foster a sense of connection, compassion, and responsibility towards other people and the planet. These feelings will make you feel more human.  

I am sure the list above does not encapsulate everything we must do to feel human. I am sure you will explore more to discover other things we can do to feel human. Please feel free to share on this site.

Remember, feeling human is about nurturing connections, finding purpose, and embracing the richness of life’s experiences. If you have practised the suggestions above, next time you must prove to a computer that you are human, should pass with flying colours.