It’s Saturday morning. I’m having coffee downtown at Starbucks in Manila. I’m finalizing my Airbnb accommodation for the next few weeks before heading to my next destination. It’s hot and uncomfortable outside. The wet season is approaching, and the moisture is thick in the air.
I recollect last night’s outing to a very cool bar in Manila recommended by a friend. The atmosphere was bohemian, and the patrons represented a colorful blend of cultures. Stepping outside to walk home, I was confronted by another world: street sellers, beggars, and prostitutes. I was offered everything from a haircut to a “happy” massage. I kept my head down, declining their offers. At times, women of the night would walk beside me, often touching me and promising unforgettable pleasure. Mostly, I was unsure if it was a man or a woman offering their service for a fee. It didn’t matter; I wasn’t looking for anything anyway. Even if I was, I don’t pay for sex. It’s not because I am tight with my money but because I prefer a close connection with someone.
I got to thinking, which is not always productive, about why some men are willing to pay for sex while others prefer not to. I still do not know the answer, but here are some thoughts about why I think some men will not pay for sex under any circumstances.
A key reason is that some men prefer a genuine connection with another person. They feel an economic transaction can’t satisfy the deep need for a combination of emotional and physical intimacy. Although not speaking from experience, I understand that the sex industry is complex and not all interactions within it are negative or necessarily devoid of genuine connection. Maybe some folks find a connection at some level, even if they do pay for sex.
There are also various secondary reasons some people prefer not to pay. These include fear of being found out and the associated social stigma, risk of diseases, moral and ethical beliefs, and safety concerns. It is also known that many who exchange money for sex may find themselves feeling more disconnected afterwards.
My musings led me to conclude that it’s important to recognize that people’s reasons for paying or not paying for sex are deeply personal and varied. These include socio-economic factors, moral or religious beliefs, or other considerations. Judgment is a double-edged sword.
In conclusion, respecting individual choices and understanding the complexity of human desires and relationships is crucial. Everyone’s journey and decisions are unique, and what matters most is finding what aligns with one’s values and needs. I will now turn my musings to something a little less complicated, such as what I will have for dinner and promise not to write about it.
Have a good day, and if I don’t see you through the week, I will see you through the window.