Should I embrace stoicism – thinking the worst to be my best

Are you looking for a makeover in your approach to life? Perhaps you’ve reflected on a recent situation and did not feel good about your reaction, or do you desire a change and want to be a better version of yourself? Consider Stoicism. This ancient philosophy, currently experiencing a resurgence, offers a meaningful way of life akin to Buddhism. Both philosophies emphasize transcending personal gain to contribute to the community and foster a better world, in contrast to the self-centred, nihilistic pursuit of happiness advocated by many self-help propagandists.  

Stoicism, founded by Zeno of Citium in Athens, Greece, during the early 3rd century BC, offers a philosophy for navigating the uncertainties of life. Stoicism teaches that emotions like sadness, anger, and envy are based on faulty judgments and that wisdom lies in distinguishing between what is within our control and what is not. This approach advocates focusing on virtue, wisdom, and emotional resilience to achieve inner peace.”

Understanding Stoicism 

At its core, Stoicism suggests that while we have little control over external events, we can control our judgments and reactions to those events. A stoic individual will never succumb to the madness of road rage because, in the scheme of life, a traffic incident does not warrant rage. Losing one’s cool is un-stoic because real Stoicism involves developing calm in trying circumstances. This approach is grounded in the belief that it’s not external events but our perceptions and beliefs about them that cause suffering. This insight forms the basis of Stoicism and contemporary cognitive-behavioural therapy, suggesting that changing our judgments can alter our emotional responses.

Stoicism is also shaped by hedonic adaptation, which refers to the tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes. According to this theory, as a person makes more money or experiences improvements in their living conditions, their expectations and desires rise in tandem, which leads to no permanent gain in happiness. Here is how hedonic adaptation works:

Initial Happiness Level: Everyone has a baseline level of happiness that is somewhat stable over time.

Experience of Change: When something significant happens—be it positive (like getting a raise or buying a new car) or negative (such as losing a job or experiencing a breakup)—there is usually an immediate impact on a person’s happiness.

Adaptation: Over time, people adapt to the new situation. The joy from positive changes tends to decrease, and the pain from negative changes lessens. This adaptation leads individuals back to their baseline level of happiness.

To illustrate hedonistic adaptation, imagine you’ve just purchased the latest iPhone. When you finally get it, you’re thrilled. You explore its features, admire its design, and enjoy how fast it operates compared to your old phone. However, after a few weeks or months, the excitement fades. The phone is no longer a source of joy; it’s just your phone. You’ve adapted to having it, and it doesn’t make you as happy as it did at first. This is hedonic adaptation at work: the process of becoming accustomed to new things or situations, which decreases the happiness they provide over time.

Stoic practice is seen as a more sustainable path, enabling individuals to confront and accept the inevitability of disappointment, loss and adversity without succumbing to despair.

Benefits of Stoicism

There are no dress requirements for those who choose to become stoic. It is more about a mindset than an image. There are also no guarantees that adopting a stoic lifestyle will make you more chilled and likable. It is, however, a cheaper and healthier option compared to drinking alcohol. Here are some of the benefits you might achieve should you adopt a stoic lifestyle.

Resilience Building

By contemplating potential adverse outcomes, you’re protecting yourself against the emotional distress that might arise when everything goes wrong. If things don’t go as planned, you’re not shattered by the outcome because you’ve already considered the worst-case possibility and hopefully can manage your reactions more calmly.

Appreciation and Gratitude: 

Negative visualization encourages us to recognize the transient and impermanent nature of success and material gains. This awareness fosters a deeper appreciation for what we currently possess, including aspects of our lives and careers that aren’t tied to the outcome of any single project. Consider the scenario of someone reluctant to attend a party, fearing it will be dull. They decide to go and end up meeting the love of their life. In this instance, negative visualization leads to a sense of gratitude. Conversely, another individual, expecting the best night ever, returns home miserable because their expectations were unmet, highlighting how preconceived notions can impact our experiences.

Focus on What Matters

A stoic mindset shifts your focus from external validations to intrinsic values. You start valuing the effort, learning, and growth from the process rather than fixating solely on the outcome. This perspective aligns with the Stoic belief that virtue and one’s character are the true sources of happiness.

Consider the scenario of preparing for a marathon. Many people might fixate on the goal of achieving a certain time or even just finishing the race. A stoic approach, however, would emphasize the training process itself—the discipline, the daily improvements, the resilience in facing setbacks, and the joy of running. Whether or not the final goal is achieved becomes secondary to the personal growth experienced along the way. This focus on intrinsic values over external achievements helps individuals find satisfaction and contentment in their efforts, regardless of the outcome. It teaches resilience and a deeper sense of fulfilment as one learns to appreciate the journey, not just the destination.

Practical Preparedness

Thinking about potential setbacks encourages you to plan contingencies, preparing you to handle challenges better. This proactive approach can lead to more thoughtful decision-making and strategy development.”

For example, imagine you’re planning an anniversary celebration with your partner, hoping to create a perfect evening. A Stoic mindset would encourage you to consider potential setbacks—such as a reservation getting lost, bad weather, or one of you feeling unwell. Rather than allowing these possibilities to upset or disappoint you, you prepare mentally for them. You remind yourself that the essence of the celebration is to honour your relationship, not the event’s specific details. This preparation allows you to remain calm and adaptable, focusing on the joy of being together rather than the perfection of the occasion. If something doesn’t go as planned, you’re more likely to respond with understanding and creativity, finding alternative ways to enjoy the moment. This Stoic approach helps strengthen the relationship by emphasizing resilience, adaptability, and the ability to find happiness in each other’s company, regardless of external circumstances.

If you want to learn more about Stoicism’s practical applications and benefits, I suggest you refer to the following publications that can be purchased through Amazon.com.   

“The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph” by Ryan Holiday (2014)

“How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life” by Massimo Pigliucci (2017)

“A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy” by William B. Irvine (2009)

“Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living” by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman (2016)

Criticisms of Stoicism

While offering valuable insights into managing emotions and fostering resilience, the Stoic philosophy has faced various criticisms over the centuries. These critiques often focus on its core principles and practical applications in daily life:

Overemphasis on Rationality

Stoicism places too much emphasis on rationality and control over emotions, potentially leading to an unhealthy suppression of feelings. By prioritizing rationality above all, there’s a risk of neglecting the richness of the emotional spectrum and the role emotions play in a well-rounded human experience.

Indifference to Social Injustice

Stoicism teaches acceptance of things outside our control, which some critics say could lead to apathy towards social injustice and a lack of action to change societal structures. This emphasis on acceptance might be misinterpreted as endorsing a status quo rather than advocating for change in the face of wrongs and injustices.

Unrealistic Expectations for Self-Control

The Stoic ideal of maintaining equanimity under all circumstances sets a high bar for self-control that might be unrealistic for many people. Critics argue that this expectation can lead to feelings of inadequacy or failure when one inevitably reacts emotionally to life’s challenges.

Detachment from Personal Relationships

Some interpretations of Stoicism suggest a form of emotional detachment to protect oneself from the pain of loss or disappointment. Critics claim this could lead to a diminished capacity for deep, empathetic connections with others, as the fear of emotional distress might outweigh the value of close relationships.

Neglect of Positive Emotions 

While Stoicism acknowledges the importance of positive emotions that arise from virtuous actions, its focus on preparing for and accepting adverse outcomes may lead to an underappreciation of joy, hope, and optimism. By concentrating on mitigating negative emotions, Stoics might not fully embrace or seek out positive experiences with the same vigour.

Individualistic Focus

Stoicism’s emphasis on individual virtue and self-sufficiency can be seen as overlooking the importance of community, social bonds, and the role of systemic factors in well-being. This focus on the individual’s inner world might ignore the broader social and environmental contexts that significantly influence one’s life.

Difficulty in Application

The Stoic practice of constantly monitoring one’s thoughts and emotions to live virtuously and rationally can be mentally exhausting. Critics point out that the continuous effort required to live up to Stoic ideals might not be sustainable or desirable for everyone, especially in the face of complex modern challenges.

While Stoicism offers valuable tools for personal growth and resilience, these criticisms highlight the importance of a balanced approach that recognizes the value of emotions, the need for social engagement, and the acceptance of human limitations.

Warning: There is a potential risk that a stoic person could be misinterpreted as exhibiting traits of psychopathy, sociopathy, or narcissism. This misunderstanding can stem from ignorance of the differences between Stoicism as a philosophy and the psychological characteristics of psychopathy, sociopathy, and narcissism.

Conclusion: Embracing Stoicism, Fully or Partially

Adopting Stoic principles doesn’t require an all-or-nothing approach. Even integrating aspects of Stoicism can significantly enhance well-being and resilience. Whether you embrace Stoicism or fully incorporate select practices into your life, the journey towards internal peace and rational response to external chaos is worthwhile.

We invite you to reflect on the Stoic practices outlined and consider how they might fit into your life. Share your thoughts, experiences, or questions in the comments below. Your journey towards Stoicism, whether in whole or in parts, begins with a single step. Embrace the philosophy at your own pace and discover the profound impact it can have on your perspective and well-being.